I had this dream once. I was in this room, everything was bright at first, too bright in fact…until she walked in. The lights seemed to dim to an ambient tone…but she…she radiated. I now know she stole the light. She walked into the room and stole the light and made the room well. Better than well, she made the room. The silk sheets in which she melted with were hers, she stole the softness of the silk unto her skin and radiated. A crescendo of fabric and life…and her breath…her breath came at quickening pace. She was mine.

When I awoke from that dream I realized she was no longer mine. Phantom love like a lost limb haunts the heart and fools the mind as if it still remained but has long since passed. If there was a way to re-grow that love against the wishes of nature much like the forced regeneration of a limb, would I…do so? Control can re-grow love. I could make her love me again.

. . .

Sometimes I think that when I finish my work I might exploit the results for my own personal favor. I wonder if it will even matter. The result of my research will have a profound effect on the world. When I finish, it can be arranged so that I will have never known it took place or that I finished it. Perhaps I have already finished it. I would not know if I have been hacked, no one could.

. . .

At first I wanted to believe that I could still tell. I wanted for the sake of humanity to tell the difference. I couldn’t. The hundreds of animals and humans that I have thus far tested…couldn’t. Humanity has failed to detect this exploit of the mind. Humanity will have lost when I am finished.

. . .

When I finish my work I will return to her. She could love me again. I could…help her love me again. I could make her happier than she has ever been. I can change myself as well. I know what she doesn’t like about me and I could change that for her. I could help us by making us more compatible. I am in hell now. I have seen and have done unspeakable things, but I can forget all of that. I can make us believe we never parted. She would love me then, I could make it right for us. All I ever really wanted was to be happy. I was happy when she was mine.

. . .

Though I can make myself forget and have proven I would never know otherwise, I can’t believe I wouldn’t know. I would be changing her for me. I would be changing her forever…for me. Her love is perfect and I could never change that. I can only change myself. To abort her from my mind would be to steal her from me forever. I have my dreams and I can change myself to always dream, to be with her always. When I finish my work the world will have changed and I will return to where she hasn’t.